Moonless Nights
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z5AanNVJCxnNYeFdyoqLV9JKHUcviviTrfr5s6NVdTzQQuN2dsxH35G
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Description:
My personal channel, largely replacing those I used to have on other systems, back in the client-server days.
This channel is mostly for just writing personal thoughts about inter-personal relationships, technical opinions, the direction of humanity and its cultures, and a search for purpose, more broadly.
Personally, I am a software developer (systems programming, if you were interested). In my personal life, I am polyamorous (however you feel about that). Socially, I like to associate with the goth scene (which I have done since early 2003).
This channel is mostly for just writing personal thoughts about inter-personal relationships, technical opinions, the direction of humanity and its cultures, and a search for purpose, more broadly.
Personally, I am a software developer (systems programming, if you were interested). In my personal life, I am polyamorous (however you feel about that). Socially, I like to associate with the goth scene (which I have done since early 2003).
Of Pain and Paralysis (on Apr. 29, 2026, 11:06:40 p.m.)
I was recently thinking about the state of our culture and its bizarre anger, rules, and judgments and I started to realize that the problem I actually have in social interactions isn't that they aren't successful but that I don't even feel [...]
Re: Where I am right now. (on Apr. 29, 2026, 10:55:16 p.m.)
Much of the world does seem to be clouding focus to the point where it is hard to name which direction you want to go.
Re: Only some things "just work" and for how long (on Apr. 26, 2026, 10:42:14 p.m.)
Tubi is probably subject to the same kinds of distribution rights issues as other streaming services: They will only be allowed to distribute something for a certain time frame before they rights-holder sells it to another distributor. Their older [...]
Re: Scarborough Poetry Club Voices In Verse 8 (on Apr. 24, 2026, 8:54:05 p.m.)
It is good to hear that the reading went well and that you found a group where sharing these readings is something everyone involved enjoys and supports.
What is "UU congregation"? I have heard people generally say interesting things when [...]
What is "UU congregation"? I have heard people generally say interesting things when [...]
Only some things "just work" and for how long (on Apr. 15, 2026, 11:42:12 p.m.)
One of the many things which bothers me about the modern age is how almost everything seems like a step down from something we used to have.
For some reason (I know the reason, I just don't know why anyone goes along with it), almost everything [...]
For some reason (I know the reason, I just don't know why anyone goes along with it), almost everything [...]
Re: Working through anxiety (on Apr. 15, 2026, 11:27:09 p.m.)
Hmm, hopefully that therapist can help you deal with that anxiety since that is supposed to be the kind of thing they can help with. Would you at least feel comfortable with a walker, or even just walking unaided, while at home?
But yes, it will [...]
But yes, it will [...]
Re: Dying on the Vine (on Apr. 15, 2026, 11:21:45 p.m.)
It is crazy how the 90s were so good but now is so awful. I think that the 80s would have been pretty good, too.
Now, everything is somehow terrible, terrifying, or just boring and pointless.
As long as the land line isn't too expensive to [...]
Now, everything is somehow terrible, terrifying, or just boring and pointless.
As long as the land line isn't too expensive to [...]
Re: A reprieve from current days -- 90s music. (on Apr. 15, 2026, 11:16:58 p.m.)
A funny thing is that, just a week or two ago, I was on the subway and saw one of those poetry things in the ad spots which displayed a poem attributed to Rain Maida.
I did like Our Lady Peace, back in the 90s, and I went to a live show they [...]
I did like Our Lady Peace, back in the 90s, and I went to a live show they [...]
Dying on the Vine (on Apr. 12, 2026, 11:56:56 p.m.)
It is strange to look back on my life, at this point.
I spent the vast majority of my life looking forward to the future. After all, I didn't really like the present but the future promised so much more. As bizarre as it sounds, I was right... [...]
I spent the vast majority of my life looking forward to the future. After all, I didn't really like the present but the future promised so much more. As bizarre as it sounds, I was right... [...]
Re: Poetry readings and kitty (on Apr. 12, 2026, 4:15:04 p.m.)
Oh, this was just something you were attending remotely?
Too bad that they used a bad photo - I think that the ones you have been using here look pretty good.
Strange that the power went out but at least it didn't interrupt your actual reading. [...]
Too bad that they used a bad photo - I think that the ones you have been using here look pretty good.
Strange that the power went out but at least it didn't interrupt your actual reading. [...]
The Broken Past (on Apr. 5, 2026, 12:24:00 a.m.)
Among the various unpleasant thoughts which dance through my mind on days of endorphin drop is one about wondering if I have hurt people, in the past. I also fear if I am hurting people, in the present, but I have so few interactions, these days, [...]
Re: Anthem for the Year 2000 (on Apr. 3, 2026, 12:38:47 a.m.)
I vaguely recall that song but didn't much care for it. While I liked Silverchair's first album, I think I was starting to lose interest in that part of the new rock genre by the time that second one came out and I found that his writing wasn't as [...]
Project Hail Mary was good (on Mar. 31, 2026, 10:51:02 p.m.)
Recent optimization work on OP has been going well (scraping the bottom of the barrel of what I wanted to improve or try, for this release), so I decided to go watch a movie, this afternoon (been a few years since I have done that). I had heard [...]
"Safe" Nihilism (on Mar. 31, 2026, 10:43:13 p.m.)
I think I am going to try to stay away from FetLife, now. I had moved here for most of my writing (leaving only some "screaming into the void" or "contemplating relationships" there), but now I think I should just completely close that door.
I [...]
I [...]
The Start of the Friction (on Mar. 29, 2026, 2:16:33 p.m.)
Went out to some new venue, last night, and it was quite good. The event was similar to many I have been to but this was a new venue so it was a bit of an exploration.
The bizarre thing is that I felt myself stressed out about various elements of [...]
The bizarre thing is that I felt myself stressed out about various elements of [...]
Re: Digging up the past (on Mar. 23, 2026, 11:55:54 p.m.)
I hope that you are able to get in touch with these people and that you get that place.
I have also always had difficulty with long friendships since I find that it is hard to maintain anything when you move or life responsibilities change.
I have also always had difficulty with long friendships since I find that it is hard to maintain anything when you move or life responsibilities change.
No sides, no labels, no reductions, no judgments (on Mar. 23, 2026, 11:52:49 p.m.)
I miss the days of having long-form discussions with 1 or 2 other people who really wanted to dive deeply into an idea and really discuss it. This could be technical, it could be about media, it could be about an event, it could be about a pure [...]
No Masters on the Lonely Road (on Mar. 14, 2026, 2:50:32 p.m.)
A few years ago, I lamented that there were no masters of my craft, from whom I could learn. The only way to improve was to delve more deeply into my ideas, alone.
The problem with doing this is that it usually isn't improvement, at least not [...]
The problem with doing this is that it usually isn't improvement, at least not [...]
The Intensity of Non-Feelings (on Mar. 11, 2026, 2:36:37 a.m.)
For the past couple of weeks, I have had a bizarre feeling. It is the same as I have felt before (overwhelming boredom and futility) but in a strangely more thorough or "deep" way.
OP work is slow-going as the motivation is hard to find in large [...]
OP work is slow-going as the motivation is hard to find in large [...]
Warm Weather to Break the Cycle (on Mar. 8, 2026, 10:21:16 p.m.)
One of the reasons why I am looking forward to the warm weather is that I do miss going for long walks through the city on hot days (in the winter, the wind is often too unpleasant, and all the clothing leads to overheating). It is getting warm [...]
Re: 8 years ago today. (on Mar. 5, 2026, 11:44:46 p.m.)
That is a neat shot. I have heard that the place is interesting but haven't been there, myself (not typically the kind of thing which interests me much, for whatever reason).
Re: Awaiting Warm Weather (on Mar. 5, 2026, 11:43:43 p.m.)
Yes, not yet shorts and Vibrams weather but we are definitely climbing out of winter.
Awaiting Warm Weather (on Mar. 1, 2026, 8:33:14 p.m.)
I find myself often thinking about how long it will be until I can comfortably resume my long walks through the city. I suspect something like 1-2 months, but I can't ever be fully sure. It doesn't happen all at once and I never remember it [...]
Re: Cuddle Party in Toronto (on Feb. 19, 2026, 2:23:45 p.m.)
I remember hearing about things like this, years ago. On one hand, I like the idea behind it but, on the other hand, I can't really imagine being involved.
While I do want a world of more casual physical touch, I mostly want a world where I can [...]
While I do want a world of more casual physical touch, I mostly want a world where I can [...]
Re: The Dark Crystal. (on Feb. 17, 2026, 1:40:26 a.m.)
I also didn't see that movie until my late 20s, I think. I thought it was good but definitely not as fun and memorable as something like Labyrinth.
Well-done puppet work, though, and definitely a good kids movie.
Well-done puppet work, though, and definitely a good kids movie.