Despite doing a reasonably good job of keeping in mind the idea that humans fundamentally value connection and are mostly friendly, most of the time, there is still something missing in me.

I vaguely remember being more human. I felt more comfortable around people, more of the time. Connections were easy to build, but difficult to maintain. I feel like I knew what I was doing, instinctively.

These days, something is still missing. Maybe regaining my ability to see the humanity in others has made it even more obvious that I have also lost the ability to see that in myself.

I will continue trying to engage, as I am not sure what else I can do. Maybe I will eventually see flame so long as I loose enough sparks on the tinder (damp though it may be).

There is still a barrier, but at least I can now see through it. I can convince myself that this is progress,
...Nights