I'm having second thoughts about moving. I don't think I'm ready but I'll never be ready if I don't go. I just wish I knew for sure when it would be.

I didn't tell you but 3 weeks or so ago, I fell with my walker in the entry way downstairs. I didn't hurt myself at all - just pulled a muscle which thankfully was fine with Tylenol but now every time I pass that area I get a little nervous.

Today is 7 years since my second fall after my first surgery on my arm. I don't want to mark that date and I try to forget but I guess my brain subconsciously remembers.

I wish there was a way to disconnect and reconnect my thought processes when it comes to walking anxiety. I asked my case manager from Fred Victor and he gave me a therapist to call. I have an intake with a counselling service called Tropicana on the 22nd, though it will cost $25 and I'm not sure they can help.

I'm getting a new walker next week and new shoes tomorrow (my shoes are two years old) but I don't think I'll be able to use the walker on my own outside because my mother has gotten me used to her holding the walker steady when I walk in public. Once I move, I will have to go on wheeltrans with my chair, because it's safer and I don't feel anxious in the chair. Ugh. I want my life back pre my accident and covid. I guess I'm lucky that my mental health is decent though, and I CAN still go outside (with the chair) I had an spell in 2018 where I swear I was going to be agoraphobic if it went on much longer, that's probably one of the reasons I fell as well. I dunno.

Even if I have to use my chair again, I am looking forward to seeing you at Dufferin Mall eventually.